Death by fire, where the burning hell runs past as quickly as it came…is a breathtaking experience…one can barely take advantage of the opportunity to register what transpired…even days after it occurred. A destructive force is purifying, but who benefits from this kind of purging?
There are moments when memory deceives me, and I hardly believe the deadly Camp Fire destroyed my house; a fire raged across Butte County, taking whole towns and many people with it - leaving hundreds still missing. It never occurred to me that what is taken is past, and nothing which is lost can be gained, and nothing which is gained shall be lost.
My hand held the handle of my front door. I felt the cool brass metal beneath my fingers as the door latched. Smoke threatened my lungs but didn't touch me. I felt the crunch of pine needles beneath my feet as I walked over to hug a pine tree; the rough bark was comforting against my cheek, and for a moment, I was grounded. I went back into the house to see what remained. My books were on the shelf, my favorite pillow was on my unkempt bed, and my alarm still set for 6:30 am… I found a book along my bedside…one I cherish…and placed it in the palm of my hands. The title is How to Know God: The Soul's Journey into the Mystery of Mysteries by Dr. Deepak Chopra.
Upon opening the book to the inside cover, I read the inscription my spiritual teacher and friend wrote to me; then the inscription I wrote to my mother-in-law when I passed the book to her; then the inscription my mother-in-law wrote back to me before she passed away. I lost track of time for a moment, and then I remembered letting go of everything; everything was given to me.
Comments